


Reconciled

by Eshisakka



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Crying, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Manipulation, Neglect, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Exile Arc (Dream SMP), Protective Toby Smith | Tubbo, Reconciliation, The manipulation is just like an underlying issue, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), as per this arc, basically just them making up cause i need that desperately, it's not discussed in depth or described or anything, just the effects seen, mentions of hallucinations, t for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshisakka/pseuds/Eshisakka
Summary: Tommy was there… sitting…Suddenly Tubbo realized he may not be ready for this after all.That feeling only doubled when Tommy turned, and their eyes met. There was an unnerving lack of recognisable emotion in his best friend's eyes. Eyes, that held heavy bags under them. His hair was long and unkempt. His skin bore more scars, His clothes dirty and tattered. He… He looked miserable.He… He had to talk to him. He won't run away. It was Christmas. He couldn't leave Tommy alone, not today of all days. Not when he looked like this. God, what had happened to him?***It was Christmas Eve. And Tubbo was going to see his best friend and apologise.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 10
Kudos: 447
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	Reconciled

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here's a hurt/comfort one shot to make up for my lack of updates :'> Sorry about that! But yeah, I just desperately needed them talking it out, so... I wrote it! Let's hope nothing too bad happens in the following streams ;;v;;
> 
> Btw, I started this before Tommy rebuilt the bridge, so sorry for that little inaccuracy!
> 
> With that out of the way, hope this brings you some joy! Comments are always incredibly appreciated <3

Tubbo was going to see Tommy.

He considered bringing others with him. After all, it was Christmas Eve. It was the holiday of family, of togetherness. But… he felt like. He needed to… sort things out first.

So, he was going to see Tommy. And he was going to apologise.

With an anxious gait and 2 retrieved disks in his inventory, he pocketed his compass for the moment as he stepped into the purple light of a nether portal. When his senses returned, air thick and hot and eyes blinded momentarily, it took him a bit longer than usual to take in his surroundings.

Oh.

The bridge was gone.

Well, it wasn't _gone_ gone. He could still see it start again a distance away. But… It was taken down. And in it's place was installed a precarious log. It didn't seem stable. It looked dangerous. It kind of made Tubbo a bit nauseous, when he watched the lava bubble just below it. But…

It was no matter. If that was what he had to cross to get to Tommy, he'd take it.

And so, he slowly made his way across, hyper aware of the compass in his pocket, heating up from the nether air. He didn't want to fall and lose it. It's already scratched up. If it made it's way into lava, he would not be able to recover it.

Thankfully tho, before he could realise it, he found his feet stumbling onto solid obsidian again, and he let out a long, relieved sigh.

So that was done. Now he just had to walk his way to the other nether portal, simple as that.

He continued on, eager and nervous, towards his destination. Towards _To-_

Wait.

Uh….

Tommy was there… sitting…

Suddenly Tubbo realized he may not be ready for this after all.

That feeling only doubled when Tommy turned, and their eyes met. There was an unnerving lack of recognisable emotion in his best friend's eyes. Eyes, that held heavy bags under them. His hair was long and unkempt. His skin bore more scars, His clothes dirty and tattered. He… He looked miserable.

He… He had to talk to him. He won't run away. It was Christmas. He couldn't leave Tommy alone, not today of all days. Not when he looked like this. God, what had happened to him?

After managing to wrangle air back into his lungs, Tubbo spoke. “H-hey, Tommy.”

His voice was met with numbly shocked eyes and nothing more. Tommy continued to stare. It was… It was unnerving. And only after a minute or so, a response came. A short and quiet, almost unheard “what the shit.”

Tubbo grimaced, trying to not get overwhelmed with nerves. “S-sorry, I know. We… we really haven't spoken in a while, huh...? So I just. Thought. Since it's Christmas and all…”

He watched Tommy, who continued to stare at him. Silently bewildered.

“I would. Finally come to visit you…?” He reached a hand into his pocket, fidgeting with the compass. His voice wobbled. “Sorry that it took so long…”

Still, no real answer came. Tommy just muttered something, now even quieter, and. Then went back to… staring at the lava.

Uh.

If he was to be honest. Tubbo was kind of hurt. He came here to reconcile, and now, Tommy was just… ignoring him? What the hell?

“Tommy?”

When no response came still, he took a step forward, and then another. More until he was sitting next to him. The other boy was tense, refusing to look his way.

“Tommy, c'mon… look at me…”

He placed a hand on his shoulder, but apparently, that was a bad thing to do, as immideately, Tommy was jumping to his feet, startled, and his eyes were wild, and his arms flung around as he tripped on his own feet, and then he was falling-

“Tommy-!”

Quickly, he reached out, both hands grasping at his tattered shirt. Miraculously, thankfully, their center of gravity swayed away from the ledge, and they instead crumpled on the bridge, a mess of limbs and panicked thoughts.

When his head stopped spinning, and his thoughts came back from the pit of dread, of death, of knowing that could be _the end_ , for _both of them_ , he looked and he saw. Tommy stare back at him, from above, propped up on an arm. Shocked and… scared. Confused.

Unbelieving.

An intake of breath. Shaky and shy.

“T-Tubbo…?”

His voice was… so quiet and sad. It kind of hurt to hear.

“Yeah… yeah, I'm here, Tommy.”

Tommy continued to stare at him, looking him over, inspecting his gaze, slipping in and out of his own mind. He raised a shaky hand, carefully, slowly, putting it to Tubbo's cheek. He seemed almost startled when it connected. His fingers were cold despire the warm nether air. Then, a few quiet words escaped.

“You're… you're real.”

Tubbo had no idea what he meant. That scared him.

“…Yeah? Why wouldn't I be real?”

A string seemed to snap in Tommy, a single point of tension, unravelling. “You're real. You… you came to see me.”

Tubbo didn't like how his voice wobbled. Didn't like the disbelief in his voice, how _meek_ he sounded, looked. Tommyinnit was not meek. He was the furthest thing from meek. How had he changed so much in so little time? Was… was it really that long? Was… he should have visited a long time ago, shouldn't he have?

Wrecked with guilt, he clumsily propped himself up, sitting up, and before he could comprehend the flinch Tommy gave at he proximity, he took him in his arms.

Held him tight, close. Willing the shaking away, the fear. God, he hated seeing Tommy scared.

“I'm here, Tommy. I'm here…”

It took a long while until Tommy relaxed in his grip and finally set his head on his shoulder, arms wrapping around loosely as his hands tangled in the other’s shirt. Another bad sign. Tommy was usually so clingy with his hugs. Secure.

Exhaling, Tubbo raised one hand to run through Tommy's unkempt hair. It was oily and long. Why wasn't he taking care of himself…?

“Tommy…?”

Abruptly, he realised Tommy's breathing has been getting slower. Blinking, he tapped the boy's head a few times.

“Tommy? C'mon don't fall asleep on me now, big man…”

When no response came, he hesitantly detangled from the hug and put a little bit of distance to see the other's face. Tommy’s eyes were dull and heavy, and it seemed like he was blinking in and out of consciousness, even as he desperately tried to focus on Tubbo in return. It seemed to be a losing battle.

Sighing, he carefully stood, taking Tommy with him, wrapping one of his arms around his own shoulders. Concerningly, he was lighter than he remembered him being. “C’mon, Toms, let's get back to your bed. You don't wanna fall asleep here.”

Tommy just let out a small noise that Tubbo couldn't tell whether it was affirmative or negative, and then they were on their way.

The cold winter air immideately hit them when they left the heat of the nether, and Tommy instantly began trembling. Well… now Tubbo realized one reason Tommy might’ve been hanging around there instead of here.

Shifting so that he could hold Tommy closer, Tubbo took one look at the small, open tent and turned away, instead making steps towards the log walls. When they entered the house there, it was a bit warmer, but not warm enough by any margin, and Tubbo felt his dread grow bigger. Thankfully, tho, when he turned to the bed, there seemed to be at least 2 warm blankets, with a lighter one on top of those, so he quickly made his way there, unfurled them and sat Tommy down.

Before long, they were both in the bed, under heavy blankets, Tubbo holding Tommy close to help combat the cold. The other's hold felt more like himself, arms wrapped tightly around Tubbo, head buried in his hair. Slowly relaxing and falling to a restful sleep.

Tubbo wanted to talk to him. He had so many things he wanted to ask him, about this place, why his clothes were so tattered, why he was so light, why he was so tired, why he was uncertain that Tubbo was real, what he's been doing here, how he's been spending his time. If he'd ever missed him. If he'd ever forgive him. If there was any information on when he could return.

But… for now. Tommy was exhausted. And the best thing to offer to fix that was rest. So, they'd sleep, and the rest would come in the morning. They could figure it out.

* * *

Tubbo awoke feeling more rested than he had in… _months_.

It was crazy. But, He guessed it made sense. His days lately had been very saddled with responsibility. And while it was fulfilling, working towards a goal, building up L'manburg again, it was also… tiring. And, frankly, isolating.

He turned his head to look at Tommy's face. His dumb, embarrasing, sleepy face. He still looked worse for wear, but now, at least, he looked peaceful. That's something he could appreciate.

Seeing as how he could see the last of morning sunlight flitting into the room, he guessed it was a good time to disturb, that, tho.

Shaking the other boy lightly, he had expected him to wake quickly, as Tommy was a light sleeper usually. But, instead, to his surprise, the other took a while to mumble in protest, lazily turning in bed, before he finally opened his eyes.

Chuckling, Tubbo greeted the faded blue lightly. “Good morning!”

Tommy was still slow to respond, tho, blinking copiously as he stared at him and the rest of the room. Then, almost numbly, he uttered, “I'm not dreaming still, am I?”

Tubbo laughed, incredulous. “ _What??_ ”

Something seemed to click in Tommy's brain then, tho, as his tired eyes suddenly widened and he shot up in bed, tense and overwhelmed, looking at Tubbo with an intensity he doesn't think he's ever seen Tommy display. Not towards him.

Taken aback and out of the peaceful mood, Tubbo shrank into himself, staring him back despite the sudden anxiety.

“Y-you…”

“Me.” Tubbo gulped.

“You…” Tommy's eyes looked sad, more than anything. “You came to see me.” Until they no longer did. “Y-you _finally_ came to see me. Why didn't you visit me before?! Where _were you_?!”

Tubbo involuntarily trembled, trying to get past the lump in his throat. “I- I was- I thought you-"

“You had _all this time to see me, weeks,_ and you never did! Why did you visit me now? Why now, huh? Is it out of-"

“I-it's- I'm sorry, It's Christmas, so I thought-"

“Ohhh, so it _is_ out of pity, you don't actually care, _none_ of you do, I knew it, you just think ‘ohh, I'm gonna go see the stupid exiled man now, do a _good deed,_ ’”

“ _No-_ “

“Well yeah, I see right through your shit, you don't care, Dream was _right, you don't care about me, none of you do, you all ha-"“_

“I THOUGHT YOU _HATED ME, TOMMY!”_

Everything turned still.

Tubbo didn't mean to shout. Didn't mean to raise his voice, display this vulnerability so loudly. But, when feeling under attack, what's left to do but defend yourself?

Trying to get his heart rate back to normal, he focused warily on Tommy. Tommy, who was slightly trembling, and had a very conflicted, almost confused look on his face.

“I- …”

A breath.

“I don- No, but you hate _me._ ”

It took a bit for Tubbo to process those words.

Brows furrowing, he wracked his brain for clues, trying to figure out Tommy's thought process and how to continue onwards. “N- _no_? I. Where… where did you get that idea from?”

Tommy seemed very, very lost. His eyes darted from staring, to looking away, fingers tangling in the blanket. His movements were all jerky, his breaths irregular.

“…Tommy…?”

“Y-you. Don't…?”

Holy shit. Tubbo's heart was gonna break. What was happening? When had Tommy learned to speak so quiet, when had he started to think Tubbo could ever _hate him?_

“ _No…!_ Tommy, I… I don't hate you at all, where did you get that from?” He tried to make his voice as soft and as convincing as possible, restraining from reaching towards him, in fear of being overbearing. None of that care seemed to be enough, tho, as Tommy's brows still furrowed, a bitter turn appearing on his lips.

“Oh… I dunno, maybe from how you _exiled_ me? And never came to see me afterwards?”

Tommy’s voice was starting to really crack, and something in Tubbo did as well. “I’m sorry-"

“Not even to show up for that beach party? And- and you. You _burned_ the compass. Wilbur gave it to you. I know…” He lifted his eyes, gazing right back at the other. They were so wide and vulnerable. “I know all about that Tubbo."

Tubbo furrowed his brows, feeling questions bubble up. “Uh… well, I- I’m very sorry about the party, I. I didn't get an invitation, but…” he slid a hand in his pocket. “You mean this compass…?”

He pulled it out, presenting it to Tommy, delicately wiping off a stray bit of dust as he did so.

Tommy’s breath seemed to catch in his throat as he stared at the item, shock clear as day. Carefully, ever so fearfully, he reached out, and when Tubbo gave a nod at his silent plea for permission, he ran his fingers across the ‘ _Your Tommy'_ engraving and opened the lid. Once more, he looked up for permission, then took the compass out of Tubbo's hands and stared at the dart move, spinning around, likely checking if it truly pointed to him.

Tubbo felt like he should feel off with the compass being taken away from him, even if briefly. He always had it on him. And the few times he's dropped it, even if it hadn't been damaged during, he’d felt terrible. Like something was missing.

But… the compass was to point at Tommy. And Tommy was here, right in front of him. He didn’t need any more comfort than that.

His thoughts, however, got interrupted, when Tommy let out a sound. It took him a second, but Tubbo did recognise it. Something that he hadn't heard from Tommy in so long. Something that he hadn't realized how much he’d missed.

A laugh.

He watched as Tommy smiled at the compass, his braced teeth showing off slightly. With another chuckle, he turned it towards Tubbo, eyes lighter, even if slightly embarrassed. “What the fuck… did you really choose _that_ picture to put there?”

Tubbo peeked at the ‘jump in the Cadillac’ photo, a laugh of his own bubbling out. “Yeah… That was the first one I could find. It's silly, but… well, you _are_ silly, so.”

Tommy continued to stare at the item, something wistful and tearful in his expression. He let out a small huff. “Thanks…”

Tubbo couldn't tell whether that was meant as sarcastic or not, so he opted not to reply, and simply accepted the compass back when it was offered. Then, they sat.

It was a long drag of silence, of sitting in crumpled blankets, of looking at the dust dance in the morning sun, of shaking ever so slightly from the chill that’s starting to catch up, until either of them dared to interrupt it.

“So…” Tommy hesitantly started out. “You. You said that… you didn't get an invite…?”

Tubbo watched him, apprehension swimming like an eel in his gut. “Yeah…? Was I supposed to get one?”

“…” Tommy inspected the blanket, tearing bits of string apart and wrapping them around his finger until it turned purple. “…Yeah.”

The eel grew bigger. “And… but. I didn't.”

Tommy continued strangling his blood vessels, slipping into his own head.

The eel wanted out. “How…” he gulped past the weight in his throat. “How about others…?”

A string snapped in half, leaving a finger to recover. Tommy took long to answer.

“…there were no others.”

A new string.

“Noone showed up.”

Tommy hunched inwards. Started winding the string again.

“Noone but Dream…”

The eel was big, and it bit, and it threatened to climb out as Tubbo struggled to find a voice. “I. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Tommy…”

Tommy narrowed his eyes, exhaustion setting back in. “Don't pity me.”

“I’m not.” Guilt was so much stronger than pity. “I’m sorry. I'm sorry for exiling you. I'm sorry for not visiting you. I'm sorry for not sending you any messages, checking up on you, anything at all. I'm sorry for leaving you here, all alone.” He took in a shaky breath, eyes beggining to water dangerously. “I'm sorry for saying the discs don't matter. I'm sorry for- for calling you a liability… You're not. You're _not_. You're the furthest thing from a liability, Tommy.”

Tommy refused to raise his eyes, hiding his face behind a long mop of hair and raised shoulders.

“You're my _best friend_. I never should have done that to you… I'm _so sorry_ , Tommy...”

Tommy was still for a while. Then, he shook his head. “No, Tubbo… You had to do what was best for L'manburg. I understand.”

Tubbo sighed, exasperated. “It didn't even do any good for L'manburg, tho…” he muttered.

A pause. Tommy blinked, raising his head slightly, finally. Quietly, he uttered “What?”

“It…” Tubbo averted his gaze, something like shame and sadness in his eyes. “It's not going good, Tommy. I mean… the buildings are all… nice, but. It's just _land_. And L'manburg isn't just land, Tommy.” He glanced at Tommy for a moment, looking defeated. “It's the people. And… and lately, everyone's been just… disbanding. Seperating... I can't keep it together.”

Tommy… didn't know how to process that. L'manburg… seperating? Dissipating? Such a concept had never occurred to him as a concern before… There had. They had always fought for L'manburg. Right? And didn't Dream….

“But… Dream said it was going great without me, tho…”

Tubbo was suddenly zeroed in on him, and… and in his eyes was _anger_. Startled, Tommy quickly scooted back, curling up more, not letting himself take his eyes away as his breath catched.

“Well, Dream is a _bitch_.”

Tommy was… Tommy was burning. His feelings were torn, fleeting from anger at Dream apparently lying, to his mind shouting that Dream was his friend and he wouldn't do that, between wanting to believe it and not believe it in equal amounts, of _not_ being _able_ to believe, his instincts still running high at the intensity of Tubbo's stare, wishing the blankets could wrap around his head and suffocate it all out.

“B-but…”

However, Tubbo came back to his senses as he realized Tommy's distress, and quickly the anger evaporated, in it's place fleeing worry. He took a breath to collect himself before continuing on, voice softer this time. “Tommy, Dream is full of shit. I should have realized that earlier.” He glanced to the side. “Well, I mean, I'd known that, to an extent, already, but…” he sighed. “I… You were right. I… still can't tell you whether exiling you was necessary at the time or not,” Tommy felt a resignated ache. “But. What I do know is that I acted impulsively and like an asshole. And… big part of that, I think, is that… Dream drove us to that point.” Tubbo looked up at Tommy, leaning his head to try to meet his eyes. Hesitantly, Tommy obliged, gazing back warily.

Tommy has looked miserable ever since he saw him again. Still, Tubbo didn't think he could get used to it if he tried. It still hurt to see him so beaten down. And… based on what he's heard from him, he guessed he knew who was to blame, besides himself. “Tommy, Dream has always had a vendetta against you. You know not to take anything he says to heart.”

Tommy straightened, a retort on his lips, but, it never came. Instead, something very conflicted flashed across his face.

“I…”

_I know,_ he wanted to say. But, that wouldn't be entirely true, would it? He didn’t know. He didn't know why Dream had seemed to care for him so much, and, with these recent revelations, he didn't know how much Dream had lied to him about. He didn't know anything. He used to be so sure about his allegiances, about how Dream, despite the occasional out of character support, was his enemy first and foremost, but… This exile had forced him to confront a lot of things about himself, and others. And now it was all getting questioned again.

It was all… so confusing. Maddening. To the point of a headache, splitting his brain, as his body shakes, cold and worn down. From the frost on the windowsill, from the countless nights spent restless and alone, from the tears in his clothes and soul, made from damages he could not yet comprehend, much less accept.

Before he could take the blanket, tho, use it as a defense, it was taken by a different pair of hands and snugly wrapped around him, warm and secure. Taken aback, he stared at Tubbo, who viewed him with kind eyes, a pleading raise to his brows. Patient and gentle, looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

“Remember, you can't trust Dream. Don't listen to him. It's you and me, right? Tommy and Tubbo against Dream, against the world. We can't let him convince us otherwise. Just you, and me, big man.” Tubbo smiled. “Always.”

Tommy blinked. Then blinked some more. And continued blinking, a familiar itch welling up in his eyes, only this time, his chest felt full with something else.

This time, when he allowed the tears to fall, free and unhidden, his forehead falling against a familiar shoulder, familiar small hands resting against his back and running through his hair, a familiar, comforting hum of his best friend echoing in his mind, his heart swelling up, he felt okay. He felt loved.

He felt at home.

“Thank you.”

Everything was far from over. Tubbo still had many, many questions. Tommy still had a difficult recovery to await. They still had a major obstacle to overcome and a long, winding road ahead of them. But, for now, just sitting in each other's embrace, warm and breathing and reconciled, was all that they needed.

They will be okay.


End file.
